Girls get so caught up in romance and our hearts and finding love and if “he’s the one” that we forget about the other side of the equation.
We aren’t the only ones in relationships. It really does take two to tango, you know?
I never really thought guys dreamt of their future wives or hoped for that perfect soulmate or even cared about love at all until I met someone who made me realize it’s not all about the girl.
So many times, girls have been so hurt by a guy (or guys) that they see every single guy through the lenses of a generalization rather than for who he is as an individual.
I did that and still do that. I catch myself not believing there would be any way for my fiancé to really love me the way I love him because guys just don’t love like girls.
That is very wrong and, really and truly, unbiblical. God never said, “these people love more and harder and better than these other people.” We are all called to love and we learn true love through the love of God.
After finding a guy who really knew what it meant to love God and be loved by God, it became clear to me that he had the desire for love just like I did.
It comes across in the way he puts me first, in the way he does special things for me, and in the way he plans cute little things for us to do. At first I thought he only did romantic things because I like them and he wants me to be happy, but I started to realize that it was satisfying a hunger for him too.
Who are we to think, as girls, that guys don’t long to be loved? God made us with the desire to be loved. Girls may show that differently, in a more open and sensitive way, but that doesn’t mean that men are not desperate for affection too.
A woman can’t leave the man out in the pursuit of a relationship because that’s when she makes it all about her.
If we are so focused on them making us happy and buying us flowers and cooking us dinner and planning us dates then we turn this into a one-sided deal that was always meant to be 50/50.
If we are searching for all the love for ourselves, what love are we giving them?
I have found myself taking advantage, unknowingly, of what an amazing guy he is because I’ve never had that kind of love before. It initially felt like a dream and the fairytale I’ve always wanted, but then it became real. Relationships can give you butterflies and all that cute stuff, but at the end of the day, they are very real. There are real fights and real emotions and real problems and a real purpose as to why you have been joined together.
We cannot look for relationships for ourselves but for the glory of God. Have you realized that? Because I sure didn’t. I was in it for me. I wanted the butterflies and the cute pictures and fun dates and someone to hang out with all the time but it didn’t cross my mind that it was for something bigger than me.
When I first started dating my now fiancé, I wasn’t fully on board because I was all about being single. Just when I was pretty sure I wouldn’t continue the relationship, I listened to a podcast about “why you should date.” I have referenced the podcast a million times and always will. He basically said, if you’re dating someone because you think they are cute or fun or a good time, you’re really wrong. You should be with someone because, together, you can further the kingdom of Christ. Out of all the moments I think back on when I say I “knew” he was the one, that really was it. That was God knocking telling me I found the one HE wanted for me to do HIS work. Point blank. No other questions asked.
And the same goes for him. He wants love and loves to love me and enjoys having me to hang out with (I think), but that’s not the main goal of him pursuing me. He pursued me for my heart for The Lord because it matched up with his. He hasn’t been dreaming of a trophy wife to do the dishes, he has been longing for someone to walk beside him while he chases after God. We walk together through all the victories and all the struggles to, and that’s what love really is.
So, yeah, maybe guys aren’t all about all the “hype” of being in love, but they are hopeless romantics in the sense that they desire a connection with someone who will love them for who they are no matter what for the rest of forever. They may not say it or write about it or post about it or scream it from mountaintops, but they let us know with their quiet words or loving actions or selflessness.
Girls aren’t the only ones out there looking for “the one” and getting their hearts broken. Guys are going through it too. Good men are still left in the world and they are on their pursuit just like women.
We can’t think of all men like we think of that one guy who wrecked our world just like they can’t think of women like they think of the girl who dumped them for another guy.
Every person, male or female, deserves love and deserves a chance, despite the actions of their predecessor.
Girls, let’s stop being selfish in this pursuit of love. Let guys in on the fun and remember that they have hearts too. They aren’t robots with no feelings; they are made in God’s image, and God is love.
And the one who did break your heart, he wants love too, but he wasn’t right for you. So, just pray he shows that to the woman he will spend forever with while you pray that for your future husband.
We are all running toward the same eternity, and we all want to be loved along the way. Men need love as much as women, just in a different way, so let’s recognize that and respond.
We aren’t the only ones dreaming about that wedding day and a lifetime of happiness, ladies, so scoot over and let him enjoy the love too.