The Orlando Shooting: The Positive We Have To See

What a week this has been for America.

People have been murdered for absolutely no reason.

Forty-nine, no 50, people were murdered. We can’t forget about the young, beautiful, singer and star on the rise, Christina Grimmie, who was shot and killed for no reason the day before a massacre happened for no reason.

America experienced its largest mass shooting in history. Some of us watched the aftermath, and some of us were there.

While yes, a group was targeted, more importantly, PEOPLE were targeted. Human beings were targeted. And we have to focus on that.

It doesn’t matter if they were white, black, Christians, Muslims, gay, straight, female, or male – it matters that they were living, breathing people living their own lives, minding their own business when someone with so many demons decided to make them stop breathing.

I don’t know any of them at all and I never will, but I do know a lot of people. I have a mom and a dad and brothers and friends and a boyfriend and co-workers and church family and a community and every person I just mentioned lives and breathes and loves and dreams every single day.

And that’s what we have to see when we look at the horror around us. We have to see the people we still have in front of us and love the crap out of them. Love them so big. And the people you see that you don’t know? Love them big, too.

You have no idea what people around you are going through, so love them. Some of them are fighting off monsters in their heads and with just a little bit of love, those monsters might be quiet. They might not, BUT they might.

We can’t change everyone or make everything better, but we can play a small part, and if everyone plays a small part, it becomes a big movement.

I’m not condoning what the murderer did by any means, but I am saying that he needed love just like everyone else. He needed grace and kindness and somewhere along the way he didn’t feel that, so he acted out by taking that away from almost 50 other people who weren’t bothering him at all.

Some people act out by taking their own lives, some people act out by degrading other people, some people act out by hurting themselves, some people act out by abusing alcohol, some people act out by making other people around them miserable.

We have all acted out at some point and in some way because we didn’t feel the love we wanted or didn’t feel good enough or wanted to be something else. But we really can help each other. We really can lift each other up without expecting anything in return except the comfort of knowing we are making the world around us just a little bit happier.

There is nothing we could ever say to make what happened better. There are no words to take away the pain these families are feeling. They started feeling those feelings as soon as they got phone calls or texts letting them know the worst news they will ever hear.

But there is love. There is always love.

A member of one group targeted another group, but labels are in the background to me at this point. All I can think about are the individuals and the conversations they had had that day. I’m sure they had called their moms or talked to their significant others or chatted with a barista, not knowing those conversations would be some of their last.

There is not a lot of positive to take away from a situation like this, but we have to find something positive so we can keep going. And in this case, it is love. It is loving the people we still have here and making it a point to be love to people no matter what.

Go be love,

Kaitlin

You Don’t Have To Leave To Live

I’m constantly wanting to go. Just go. Anywhere and everywhere. I have such a lingering feeling of wanderlust at all times.

It honestly gets me down if I give it the power to. I see other people going and doing and exploring and traveling and just really living and I wonder what I’m doing.

Even people who are traveling for business or with internships just make me feel like I’m behind.

Journalists don’t generally make millions starting out, so my travel fund is low and my trips are few and far between. I try to make little trips here and there to pacify my excessive desire to travel, but it’s not the same as leaving the country or exploring a new city or getting the butterflies of being on a plane.

I always planned to move far away from where I have lived my whole life as soon as I graduated college. I was off to New York or Chicago or at least Nashville. But God had other plans.

I ended up in the last place I had planned to be: Huntsville, AL.

When I moved to Huntsville for my first postgrad job in news, I absolutely hated it. I thought there was nothing to do and no one to do it with. I wanted out as soon as possible.

I looked at jobs everywhere. Anywhere but Huntsville.

And then I started actually living where I live. I stopped going back home every weekend or back to my college town to see my friends. I dove into the city I was in.

I joined a church here, met friends at events, and actually started seeing the beauty around me.

I met some of the best friends I’ve ever had and a great guy who ended up the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.

I got promoted at work and got some opportunities to see more of the city I was now a part of. It’s like I was living in a different place than where I had originally moved.

But what was different was me and my attitude.

Instead of wishing we had events and places to go that other cities I had, I learned to appreciate what was right at my fingertips.

I got involved with non-profits and volunteered at places like food pantries. In work and outside of work, I was realizing more and more that there are thousands and thousands of people all around me each with intricate stories and joys and fears and quirks and lives and they all mattered. They mattered whether they lived in Huntsville, AL or Los Angeles, CA. The place doesn’t matter – it’s the people.

People grow the produce that I buy at local farmers markets. People own my favorite brunch spots. People own coffee shops where I take breaks. People own stores where I buy clothes.

All those people have important lives and friends and families and dreams and ambitions and love.

Amazing things happen with space exploration, military intelligence, creativity, art, music, and growth all around me every day. Smart, kind, hard working people live around me and make the city I’m in great.

There are fancy events and free concerts and new organizations and new city developments being made all the day. This city is on the rise and is making a name for itself and I’m a part of it.

But it doesn’t matter that there actually are cool things to do here, it matters that I found people to do them with and I appreciate that there are thousands of important lives being lived that do them, too.

Don’t hear me wrong, I think traveling is very important and it’s a huge passion of mine. I’m always craving a new city and a new experience. I think travel opens our eyes and teaches us about other cultures and people and places like no book ever could. I think travel feeds the soul. But I also know that travel can be expensive and not everyone can do it.

So, instead of always wishing I was somewhere else, I have decided to always be where my feet are. I can travel throughout my city and my state and go to shops and stores and restaurants I’ve never been to. And kayak down new rivers and listen to new local music and go to art festivals and museums I’ve never been to. I can learn about people and places and things right out my backdoor.

Let’s not focus on where we are going or where we could be going. Let’s not let the desire to go eat away at us and keep us from staying fully in the moment where we are.

Many people leave home and move far away and have amazing experiences. Many people stay close to home and never leave. Neither person is smarter or better – they are different. And they can learn from each other.

Be where your feet are and take those feet across every inch of the space around you. Soak it all in and appreciate it. And then you will appreciate other places a lot more when the time is right for you to explore.

Be love,

Kaitlin

 

 

Step Away From The Other Girl’s Instagram

Get off Instagram. Step away from the phone. No.. don’t go to Facebook. Turn the phone off… you know.. that button on the side you can hold down and then swipe to ensure that you do, in fact, cut off your lifeline.

It will be ok. I promise. It might even be for the best for just a few minutes.

I’ve read this blog before, heck, I’ve written this blog before. About comparing yourself to others and how social media is a mask blah blah blah..

But it honestly can’t be overdone because it is a HUGE problem and such a joy killer. I’m so tired of it.

Me and my girlfriends stayed up way too late one night last week talking and catching up and drinking frozen hot chocolate (from Serendipity in New York off Amazon – it was delicious.. go order it) and looking at other people’s pictures on Instagram and Facebook.

We analyzed hundreds of photos of weddings and houses and outfits and trips and jobs and we just ended up making ourselves feel so bad about the lives we live every day.

Before going to bed, I decided I wasn’t really that pretty, my job wasn’t making me enough money, I would never have a house that big, my wedding wouldn’t be that cool, my hair would NEVER look like that, I’d never get to travel to those places, my day to day was way too boring, I was no fun, and my social media pages just weren’t that cool.

I defeated myself and ruined the confidence I had worked to build up the entire day all in the matter of 30 minutes because of something and someone I could never control or change.

And I know my friends felt the same. Which I hated even worse because I know how beautiful and amazing and fun they all really are. And I know their lives are exciting and they have the cutest clothes and will have magical weddings and visit incredible places and love so many people along the way. I know their worth.

So why do I not know mine?

I’m looking in all the wrong places to find my worth. I’m looking at other people to find my worth. That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

A. I need to look to the One who created me who has already told me I’m beautiful and worthy of His love.

B. I need to look within myself and not outside in this messed up world to know who I really am.

C. I need to look to people who love me and see the most beautiful parts of me even on my worst days.

You have to do the same. I’m begging. We cannot go on putting each other and ourselves down. It is a vicious cycle that will never end unless we make a conscious effort to end it.

Jealousy is the root of SO many problems in our world. It’s the reason people put people down, it’s the reason people try to screw other people’s lives up, it’s the reason for so much gossip, and it’s the reason for so much hate.

There’s no love in any of that and love really is what makes the world go round in a way more beautiful way.

There is nothing to be gained from obsessing over someone else’s lives ESPECIALLY when it’s not really even their life.. it’s PICTURES of their life that have been filtered and edited. Those pictures, just like yours, generally capture the best moments rather than the worst.

And a lot of people post really honest and raw pictures of bad days now, too. But DON’T compare your bad days to their bad days.

We are all on our own journeys in our own skins with our own souls. That is so much more special than we realize.

What a wonderful thing it would be if we all treated ourselves and each other like the unique, very special people we are.

Instagram and Facebook will never satisfy you. Go read a book, go for a hike, go have a cup of coffee…go BE. Go be with people. Live a REAL life, not a perfectly captured Instagram life.

And when you do come across pictures of someone else’s happiness, just be happy for them. Don’t resort to jealousy and comparison. Because guess what? Someone is looking at your life and seeing the joy you have, too.

We all have good days. We all have bad days. None of them are ever going to be the same.

So be you. And be beautiful. And live wide open. And don’t let someone else’s joy steal yours.

Go be love,

Kaitlin